Ask Anna your mail order bride questions

We understand. The world of online dating is confusing and sometimes scary. And if you’re looking for that special someone to spend a lifetime with, the stakes are that much higher.

That’s why at we’ve started “Ask Anna”, a new feature where Anna will answer all the questions you’ve ever had about navigating the process of finding a mail order bride…successfully!

With the data showing that about half of all marriages end in divorces, this month’s questions will focus on those from divorced men only who haven’t given up and are still seeking their soulmates and happiness.


Today’s Topic: Special Questions from Divorced Men


Dear Anna,

How long should I wait after my last marriage before jumping back into the dating game? My head says “wait” but my heart says “go”!

From Eager Beaver


Dear Eager,

The answer is simply “it depends”. There are many questions you need to ask yourself to see if you are ready, including:

-Are you separated or fully divorced? Some states or countries require a separation period before divorces can be finalized. Most single women won’t appreciate dating someone who is still legally considered married to someone else.

-Do you have children? Obviously, kids add a lot of uncertainty to a new relationship. Your new girlfriend and eventual wife isn’t just going to impact you, they are going to have a huge impact on your children. Divorces are especially hard on children, and you need to be sensitive to the fact that they may view your new mate with a lot of hostility and mistrust. Tread exceptionally carefully if you do have kids.

-How bad was the breakup? If your divorce was amicable and you’re still on friendly terms, you are likely more ready to enter the dating world than if your divorce was like War of the Roses. It takes some time to heal the scars of the heart. You don’t want to find a woman to be your rebound fling. It’s not fair to her or to you.

-Are you truly over your ex-wife? Do you still pine for her or do you consider her part of your past? Be honest here.

Trust Anna: Answering these questions will go a long way to helping you decide when the right moment will be to get back into the game.


Dear Anna,

Do single women view divorced men as undesirable? I’m having a lot of problems finding any woman who will go out with me once they find out I’m a divorcee.


Glum Glen


Dear Glum,

Not necessarily. So many marriages these days end in divorces that if women were truly only interested in men who have never been married, they are significantly narrowing their choices.

But don’t hide the fact that you are divorced. As we’ve said before, lying in your online dating profiles only means that she will eventually find out everything about you. And if she doesn’t like it, you’re just wasting both your times. Better to be upfront now.

What IS a big turnoff to women are men who talk constantly about their ex-wives, either bashing them or complimenting them too much. Justifiably, if you spend too much time jawing about your ex, she will start to wonder if you’re truly over her.

Remember that women value security very highly. This means financial as well as emotional. Divorces can take a big financial toll on men, and a woman look to a man to be the main provider will want to make sure you’ll be able to sustain both the alimony, child support and new financial obligations of a new relationship.  

Trust Anna: Stay persistent, be cheerful and optimistic, don’t hide anything and give your date a sense of security.


Dear Anna,

I really don’t like the guy my ex-wife is dating. What can I do?

Steaming in Seattle


Dear Steaming,

Men are naturally competitive. They will compete over the stupidest things. Just look at the popularity of fantasy sports (kidding…sort of). So naturally when it comes to the most important things in life like love, they will be ultra-competitive.

Is it that you don’t like the fact that your ex is dating anyone, period? That’s a natural feeling to have, especially if you two have been together a long time. That burning sensation in your stomach as you imagine the woman that used to be your wife will slowly fade over time. It’s hard, I get it. But realize that you two are starting new separate lives.

Do you feel that this guy is physically or emotionally abusive? That’s a different concern. If you have joint custody of children, that’s also a very real concern. Whoever your ex-wife dates and eventually marries will materially impact the lives of your kids. Speak to your divorce attorney openly about your misgivings.

Trust Anna: Narrow down the reasons why you don’t like him before you decide your next steps.


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